Tag Archive | Loss

Child Of Loss

So I thank everyone for your patience with me throughout my month long hiatus. I’ve been working on a number of different projects throughout the past month. This piece is one of them. I truly had no idea where it was going, but that’s often the case with my writing. So please take a read and hopefully enjoy. And don’t hesitate to check out my other work and leave feedback. One luv – Jay

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Outside of the elaborate doors of a grand cathedral
A little boy sits on the second step,
He sits, clutching his knees to his chest,
As if he is holding the last breath that will ever enter his lungs

Though I’m not yet near him, I can see that he is crying
Two middle aged women exit the church and attempt to console him,
But his tears won’t stop
It’s like the whites of his eyes are the clouds above the amazon rainforest,
And Mother Nature neglected to change the season

I try not to stare, but still find my eyes locked onto this child’s pain
It feels as if he has cried a river filled with the tears of sorrow,
And my soul has become trapped in the currents of his pain
As I struggle within myself to regain control,
I am now closer, placing my hand on his small shoulder and I hear myself saying….
What’s wrong son?

He looks up at me, with an innocence in his eye that could break the will,
Of the harshest of oppressors in history
And with a tremble in his voice strong enough to register on the Richter scale,
He asks me, when do I get my turn to die?

In attempts to not show the level of concern evident within the depths of me,
I put on the face of a bold man, strong in the resolve of my self being
Sitting down at his side, I look into those eyes and I say to him,
Son, you’re young and have so much more life to live
Why would you cry for a chance to die?

He lifts up his head, points to the sky with his small finger shaking in a way
That makes it seem as if he is tracing the image of God himself in the clouds,
He says to me….they told me that my family went to Heaven,
And that God wanted them by his side,
But when I asked why he left me behind, they just said because it wasn’t my time.

As I search through the maze of thoughts within my mind,
I find that every path ends with another solution of nothing,
And as those same two ladies exit the church to retrieve the grieving boy,
I sit there, on those same cathedral stairs with my eyes still focused on the sky
Torn with the reality of knowing the undying pain inside this child’s mind

Wondering how anyone will ever respond to that question,
Created within the innocence and confusion that is now that boy’s life….
When is it my turn to die???

” Image Courtesy of Daniel Gies
https://www.flickr.com/photos/daniel_gies/6210256302/”

Pain

Hello all :-). First off, I apologize for the extended hiatus from my writing/posting. There have been a number of major things happening over the past month (anniversary, job change, relocation, etc.). With that said, it’s time to get back to the fun. This piece is an excerpt from Life & Poetry: Early Poetic Expressions. Make sure you get your copy of Life & Poetry by clicking the image of the book cover at the bottom right of the page. It’s an earlier piece I wrote while dealing with a situation of loss at that time. Happy reading 🙂
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The cause of much grief,
And sickness in your heart
Pain in your soul
Nonexistent from the start
Its purpose, I know not
A mystery to almost all
Why the greatest of God’s gifts
Always seem to fall
So deep and strong the pain
Filling one’s heart and mind
Filling them with wonder
Of why you were left behind
I always ask the question
Yet, the answer is never clear
But I know it will cause pain
And this pain is what I fear
Sorrow, grief and anger
Are part of what I feel
Yet, knowing that they’ll remain
Is a wound that cannot heal
It hurts now more than ever
For I have felt it time and again
The hurt that one can only feel
From the loss of a close friend
One will never know
How much they can truly take
Before the strands of their heart and sanity
Will give in and break
Yet, you feel that point of weakness
Drawing closer each moment in time
And you know the day will come
When that time will fully unwind
But there’s nothing you can do
No way you can avoid it
For anything you use to hold it
The pain will soon destroy it
The only thing you can do is wait
For your point in time to hit
And when that point hits
All you can do is accept it
Never will I doubt God
But of him I will always wonder
How he could allow this pain
To take us slowly under
There’s nothing else to say
Nothing else that one can do
For when that point hits you
You’ll truly know if it’s you.

The Grave Reality Of Loss

My second ever poetic duet. This was a partnership with a young lady with such amazing talent, Ms. Hasty Words. Make sure to take time and check out her page. She is truly one of the most phenomenal writers I’ve every encountered. Enjoy.
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This morning something was quietly different
The sky above me was just a cloud dotted blue
All the trees were just a few shades of green
And the poetry I normally hear just didn’t sing

The normal sweet breeze was only but a whisper
The cry of the sun’s eyes seemed only but a whimper
On that perch where the songbird normally rehearsed
Sat the silence of the raven with eyes fixed upon the Earth

The church bells were clumsy with an altered clang
And the train tracks had been ghostly silent for days
Sensitive to tell my heart, what I have known all along
The love of my life, this time, wouldn’t make it home

For so long I have been preparing for such a moment
But for a reality of such gravity there can be no atonement
For mending the scars of a love lost, I have not the ability
And I cannot replace pieces of my soul with scattered memories